The Tire Change Debacle

Today, on Twitter, there was some debate as to who had the worse hot day experience, Josh Mueslix, who had to grill on the hottest day of the year, or me, who had to change two tires when it was 107 degrees. I couldn't do it justice on Twitter, so I decided to make a full blown blog post here.

On July 19th I was at work. I was tired and bored so I decided to leave work early. As an added bonus, I would be home in time to let my fiancee have the car to go to karate. I called her and let her know this, and I was the hero of the moment!

I left work at 10am and decided to take an alternate route to avoid the construction on I-35. I'd been driving around on a worn out tire that I knew I needed to get replaced. I was trying to hold off until the next paycheck because I've been spending so much money getting ready for the wedding. I was pushing my luck, the tire had started to shimmy and shake the car. As I turned onto the on-ramp of 69 Hwy at 119th st I heard a Pow! Flapity flapity flapity! Fuck! I'd blown it.

My first thought was no big, but I'd better call my sweetie so she can get on the bus. I called her but it was too late. I'd gone from the hero, to the goat.

By this time it was about 10:30am and 90 degrees. It was that heavy Kansas City hot where the humidity hangs in the air and you have to swim through it and it breaks down your soul until September when you're ready to move to Alaska. The sweat pours from my body like its from a fountain and the clothes stuck to my body like spandex.

I went to the trunk to look for the spare. My mom gave me this car last year summer and I'd never had to change a tire. At first I thought there was no spare, but then I found the donut and jack. Those are two of the tools you need to change a tire. But there was no lug wrench.

I called my fiancee. I told her I needed a tow. I got a number for a nearby company and called. I told them what I needed and they were going to charge $65 for a "tire change fee." I paid with my debit card, what else could I do? After I got off the phone my savior arrived. 6'2" and buff, his black hair shielded me from the sun and his Laoasian skin had grown brown in the mid-western sun. He had been working on his Toyota in the parking lot of the apartment complex by the on-ramp. "Do you need some tools?" I told him that my shitty Ford wagon didn't have a lug wrench but that I'd just paid for a tow-truck so I would just let them do all the work. He insisted I take the lug wrench. I called back to the tow truck company and asked if they would cancel my payment and to my surprise they did!

Things were looking up. I was sweating like a pig but i was invigorated by the new circumstances. I changed the tire in a jiffy, returned the lug wrench to my Asian-American Adonis and I was on my way.

There was an NTB just down the road but I decided to go to a place I knew on the other side of town that would save me about $50.00.

I don't know if you've ever tried to get from southern Johnson County to Southern Kansas City without the use of I-435 but it ain't easy. 119th turned into Red Bridge I think? I know I wound up on Red Bridge and I actually wound up on the red bridge. For a while I went up Holmes. Bannister was no help and I couldn't take 71 Hwy with my donut. Eventually I got to Troost.

I needed to have been going to Paseo but I didn't now that at the time. My memory of the place I wanted was on Troost. By the time I'd traveled up to 55th st I knew I'd gone too far. I went to make a right turn on 55th and head to Paseo when: Pow! Flapity flapity flapity. You've got to be shitting me! I'd blown the donut.

There I was with no lug wrench and no spare. I was on the bus route that would go by my house but I was exactly $1.25 short of bus fare. (When will the bus start taking debit?)

By this time it was 11:30 and 100 degrees. I tried to call my friend, no answer. Another friend, no answer. Should I call Brown Walker down all the way from Kearney? I called my fiancee again to see if she could get her son's dad's car and come and rescue me. She could, but she had to take the bus to his store to get it, so I had to wait around in the hot sun.

Luckily, what was next door to me? Mike's Tavern! Yes! A cold beer is just what I needed! I sat at the bar and watched an hour of Denise Richards: It's Complicated and listened to some Rockhurst sorority girls chat away. Finally I got the call that I'd been rescued. We got the tire and headed off to the nearest tire store.

Surprisingly the tire still held air. Only the belt had snapped. I wonder if it would have gotten me home. We pull into Midas and it will cost $100.00. That's four times too much but fuck it. I want to go home. After 2 hours of waiting on Midas, and a hot car ride to two different Wendy's the tire was ready.

It was now 3:00 and 107 degrees. I pulled the car into a nearby parking lot on three wheels. I got the borrowed car's lug wrench and went to work. The shitty Ford's jack had gotten hot, and the handle was searing my skin. The hot asphalt dust and sweat were burning my newly formed blisters. I used the last of my strength and patience to finish the job. I headed home at 4pm to take a cold shower with one less Saturday in my life. I still have the blisters to prove it.