A Short Story

Once upon a time there was a man named Melvin. He was a simple man, with simple desires. All he really wanted out of life was to sit in front of his modest t.v. in his modest home and watch a bunch of immodest baseball players play their game.

Unfortunately, like many people, Melvin did not realize what he wanted out of life until he had completely fucked up his chance to sit and watch baseball and do very little of anything else. Instead, Melvin had handed over his simple desires for much more complex dreams. They weren't necessarily his dreams, but he was made to think that they were. How is a teenager supposed to understand what he truly wants in life before he's had a chance to experience it. That's a pretty heavy concept and its a sad fact of life that many people commit themselves to a life's work before they understand what they are and who they want.

Melvin was such a person. So he agreed, as a young man, to take over his family business and all of the responsibilities that came with it. He agreed to get married and buy a house with a mortgage because that's what his father had done and that is what he believed he was supposed to do.

Then, at 45 years old, Melvin realized that he spent his days selling home improvements and his nights worrying about paying off a mortgage and providing for a family. As he thought about this, he realized further that he had no personal identity at all. His profession and his family life was modeled after his father's - and he barely knew his father.

Melvin couldn't sleep that night because of these thoughts. He decided that he had lived someone else's life for long enough and that he would wake up and find himself the very next day.

The next morning, Melvin woke up invigorated and prepared to begin his new life. His wife rolled over and smiled at him and said "Don't forget that the payment is due on minivan by the end of the week."

Melvin smiled back at her and got up and went to work.

This Blog is Not Dead

I am going to start writing posts periodically, I swear. Speaking of swearing, here is a list of my favorite swear combinations (most often used while playing video games, but they are now in retirement since I have a small child around me at home):

Shit-fucker
Jesus Tits
Fucking fuck
Cock smoker
Mothershit
Cock and balls
Ass licker
Son of a Whore
You Piece of Cock
God Fucking Fuck It
What the Cock
Lick the sweat off my balls you shit eating, mother-fisting, cock gobbling, anal snorting, cum drizzler.