Stealing Jeff Kay's Topics (and paraphrasing him for my title, too)

Jeff Kay asked his commenters on the West Virginia Surf Report if they had ever been accused of something when they were totally innocent. Here is my story:

After my first year of college I went back home and got a job at the local movie theater. I did just about everything for the theater, from selling popcorn and other snacks to picking up trash in the theaters after the movies ended. I had worked at a movie theater all through high school, so I knew my way around a popcorn kettle.

Anyway, one Saturday afternoon I reported for work in the afternoon and was called into the manager's office. Inside was the manager and two douchebags in suits. It turns out that one was a regional manager and the other was from the "home office" in Denver. They asked me if I remembered working on a certain day, which, of course, I didn't. Then they asked me about working with a certain girl who sold tickets in the box office. Again I didn't have any recollection of the shift. Finally they abandoned their FBI questioning tactics and got to the point.

It turns out that a mystery shopper had come in during one of my shifts. This particular shift I was working as a ticket taker. The mystery shopper wrote in his report that he had paid for two tickets and handed them to me to tear, but I only handed him one stub back.

The douchebags asked if I could explain that. I told them that I could not. There could be a hundred explanations for that happening and, since I couldn't remember that particular shift or any of the particulars of that situation, I had no idea what the explanation might be. Their theory was that I pocketed one of the stubs and then gave it to the box office girl, who issued a refund and then she and I split the money. I almost laughed in their faces. Tickets at that time cost $5.25*. I told them that I had not taken part in this elaborate scheme and asked if there had been a rash of refunds issued lately. They sheepishly agreed that there had not.

*How much do you think it cost the company to send those two assclowns to North Kansas City to investigate this conspiracy?

I was allowed to go back to work, but I was told that under no circumstances was I to work as a ticket taker any more. Everyone I worked with thought that it was hilarious, especially since all the good scams involved the concession stands anyway...